Marina sat in front of her computer with her two parents behind her. The screen was lit up to show her email. Her cursor hesitantly hovered over the refresh button.
"It's ok, honey." She felt her mother's hand stroke the back of her head. "At least one school accepted you."
"Besides," her father quipped up, trying to ease his daughter's ease without knowing that he was about to make it all the worse, "we all know you're going to end up at Union."
The early acceptance to Union College had come in the mail about a month earlier. Her parents were ecstatic. Union was a family tradition. And it was quite literally a hop, skip, and a jump down the street from where she currently lived. She would be living at home if she did attend. It would be the ultimate college experience within the comfort zone of the small New York town that she had grown up in.
The clock on her computer switched to 4:01pm. She hit refresh.
Marina glanced nervously at her parents as three emails appeared within her inbox. One from Southern New York University, one from Western New England University, and one from University of California, Los Angeles. Her parents knew of two of the schools she had applied for. The third came as a surprise.
She quickly clicked the first email before the third school could register within their minds.
ACCEPTED.
She felt a hand squeeze her shoulder from where her mother was standing. Neither of her parents said anything. Marina went to open the second email.
ACCEPTED.
Marina paused. Still nothing from her parents. She felt a pit form in her stomach, knowing that she had in some way disappointed them as she opened the third email.
ACCEPTED.
A small smile broke out on her lips before it melted away. She glanced over her shoulder at her parents.
Before this, her parents had thought that Marina had only applied to schools within three hours of home. They had no idea that their only daughter wanted to fly all the way across the country for the next four years.
"It's what I want."
Marina was sick of the New York area. She wanted new experiences. She wanted to explore. She wanted to discover who she was. But on her own.
Her mother nodded, still looking at the computer screen.
"We'll talk about it."
Marina didn't see what there was to talk about, but she nodded as well. She already knew where she was heading.
Marina was ready to fly away from the nest.
Ashley, this is beautiful. Your piece perfectly develops strong tension of this situation, and as a reader, I felt like I was there watching Marina opening the emails. And, I could image the faces of her parents as they realized that her dreams were different than what they expected of her. I really wish this was a short story so that I could know what happens next, and more specifically, how the parents grapple with this really tough experience.
ReplyDeleteI thought you handled the crow prompt really well, Ashley. I see in Marina the intelligence and the independent thinking customary of crows. The bird metaphors at the end were a nice supports. I’m having a harder time finding the Gemini traits in Marina, though. You set up the central tension of the story quickly and efficiently.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is so relatable! I love the way you build the tension of Marina opening the emails in front of her parents. You took a really classic situation and turned it into a great piece of writing. I almost felt like I was reading a page out of a novel. Good post :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Amy said, as you made me interesting in knowing how Marina's parents deal with her decisions. I think that you did a good job of building tension here and not making it too predictable, either. I can hear and see both the Gemini and crow traits here (including being indecisive and "of two minds," so-to-speak, as well as being strong-minded). Good work!
ReplyDelete*"made me interested"
DeleteSorry for my typo!
Like everyone here, being a New Englander attending to RIC, I fully agree that this is a super relatable piece. I'm also noticing a defining feature in your writings, where you somehow possess the fascinating ability to paint such a crystal clear, vibrant setting on less words instead of more. That's a very enviable quality. Value that because most writers would say they wish that they could do it.
ReplyDelete